Q: I’m struggling with severe anxiety and depression that are destroying my life. My relationship with my mom has been strained since I was 11, when my little brother’s dad abused me for a year. After I told someone, my mom turned against me, and now I rarely see her or my siblings. I also endured an abusive relationship with a narcissist, which intensified my anxiety. Recently, I lost my best friend to suicide, and I often feel overwhelmed and unable to get out of bed, which makes me feel like a terrible parent. My boyfriend is verbally abusive, and I feel isolated with no family support except for my kids. I cry all the time and just feel exhausted and hopeless.

A: It’s important to recognize that the roots of your anxiety and depression may be deeply intertwined with your childhood experiences, even before the abuse you faced. Childhood trauma can create wounds that affect how we perceive ourselves and relate to others throughout our lives. Understanding that trauma is not just about the events themselves but about how those events shape our internal landscape can be a crucial step in your healing journey.

Healing from such trauma often requires revisiting those early experiences with compassion and understanding. It’s essential to acknowledge the feelings of abandonment and betrayal you may have felt as a child, as these emotions can manifest in various ways in adulthood, including anxiety and depression. The journey of healing begins by recognizing these patterns and how they influence your current life.

Embracing vulnerability is key. Allow yourself to feel and express the pain from your past. This process can be uncomfortable, but it is necessary for growth. Healing is not linear, and it often involves taking small steps, such as seeking therapy or engaging in supportive communities where you can share your experiences without judgement.

Remember, you are not defined by your trauma. The wounds can heal, and by addressing them, you can reclaim your narrative and foster a healthier relationship with yourself and others. It’s never too late to start this journey, and reaching out for help is a courageous first step toward a brighter future.

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